Young & elderly couples may skip this article, because the former group is just initiated to their romantic life which wouldn’t have any “Blues” and the older group has much more experience to share on “Blues”, where my experience would be dwarfed in comparision.
With trepidation I write the following lines, because it shouldn’t result in sermons or lectures.
In India, marriage is still gracefully regarded as a sacrosanct life-time relationship of a boy and girl. In most instances, these pairs are permitted to conjugal life only after their marriage. Pre-marital dating courtship is rare, but is slowly gaining popularity and acceptance. The present trend is for the pairs to get formally engaged and have dating till marriage. I see the trend as an adaptation of the western “Dating” culture, suitably modified to the Indian cultural reservations.
It is during this “Dating” / Courtship we find that the partners have lots to discuss, share and make promises.
The new pairs often wonder how “Brahma” the creator could guess the needs and aptly created the opposite partner – “Specially made to order”.
However, as years progress, all couples have to go through the “Free Roller-Coaster Ride of Life!!!”.
Twenty two years ago, while on one such dates we both decided on two things as non-negotiable in our married life. We felt it was a tough and revolutionary decision
One should never draw a balance-sheet, and more so on how much he or she has sacrificed / contributed for the family.
Rather it should be – “How much more can I accommodate?” instead of “How much did I sacrifice?”
These principles have seen us together for 22 years and hopefully would see us through for the remaining life also. Now we realise that the same pledge must have been taken by all our elders and contemporaries, but for which we wouldn’t see so many successful marriages in all our families.
In an old Telugu film song of “Dr. Chakravarty”, “Manasuna manasai … Bratukuna Bratukai” song, a stanza is “Ninnu Ninnu ga preminchutakai” (to love you as you are!!!). This song is an apt reflection of the pure love between husband and wife.
Recently I came across a poster on “Rules of a Happy Marriage” which I felt like sharing with you. I salute the writer of these lines who discussed the solutions to Marriage Blues. I frankly admit that I’m no exception and faced the “Blues” and am likely to face more in future also. What we wish is, we both should remember these solutions also!!!!.
Rules of a Happy Marriage
- Never both be angry at the same time
- Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire
- If one of you has to win an argument let it be your mate
- If you have to criticize, do it lovingly
- Never bring-up mistakes of the past
- Neglect the whole world rather than each other
- Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled
- When you have done something wrong have the courage to admit it and say “Sorry”
- Compliment your partner atleast once during the day
- Remember, it takes two to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does most talking